Loser

Today, I lost. I was running for the office of secretary for the senior class, and I lost. This is a new thing for me. Every position I have run for, I have always won, and I have held quite a bit of positions over the years, I would say close to twenty. Losing just feels wrong. I’m not going to act like I’m not bothered by this, I was upset when I found out. I don’t know if it’s because I really wanted to be secretary, or simply because I lost, and no one ever likes being a loser. 

At the same time, though, I don’t really care all that much, at least as much as I think I should. If something means a lot to you, then you should be affected by it, and I don’t think I’m properly upset. Because of the lack of emotion following the announcement of my defeat, I began wondering the reason why I wanted to win in the first place. I might have done it because I truly wanted to make a difference in our school, or because I just needed something to catch colleges’ attention. I would like to say it was the former, but I’m afraid I am just not that good hearted. From what I could come up with, it seems that my main motivation was once again something to put on my college apps. Now, I don’t want people to think that I never really wanted this position, because I did enjoy the time. It gave me a way to serve our class and be apart of so many peoples’ lives, if only in a small way.  

But let’s be honest with ourselves, these officers don’t really do anything. If you want to make a difference, being a class officer isn’t the way to go about it, depending on the impact you wish to make I suppose. As I look back on my years in office, I don’t think I really made much of an impact. I helped with some fundraisers and stuffing envelopes, but that was pretty much the extent of it. All officers are concerned about is prom, and why shouldn’t they be. Prom is a big deal to any class, and it’s the officers job to make it a good one, so that should be their main concern. But is that really all I want from my high school years? Thinking I made a difference by putting together a kick ass prom. I don’t doubt the work that this new set of officers will go unnoticed or be any less important in the eyes of our students. But I feel I should to more, something that really makes a difference, not only in the lives of the class of 2010, but in Kennedy High School.

And so I will, make a difference I mean. I have been turning over this idea in my head for a while now. As you may or may not know, I have often been pegged as a hippie for my what some may deem over environmentally awareness. I take bottles out of trash cans and pick up bottles from rooms, whatever I can to help even in the slightest. Dr. Dub mentioned something to me about really getting our school environmentally aware, and establishing a program that would be school wide, instead of the haphazard recycling we tend to do now. This, I can do. 

Next year I will be starting an environmental club where this will be our main project. Before I leave the halls of kennedy, I vow to leave my mark, the green way. It’s really sad that I had to lose in order to realize where I should really focus my efforts, but if I had to lose for it to happen, well then I would say its most worth it. 

Funny how life works sometimes.

Peace.