The disappearing tale

So here’s the scenario:

Emma used her five finger discount to jack a bottle of disappearing ink along with other random, useless gifts. Since I am a very much like a small child, I was very enthused by this present, how could anyone not like disappearing ink, it’s such a gag. I wanted to try it out, but everyone had already left the classroom seeing as it was a friday in an A.P. chemistry class, no one wants to be there after the bell rings. Well, I wanted to try it out on someone. Note that I had been the first guinea pig and had put a squirt on my shirt. But it was the reaction I wanted to see most, thinking that the victim would exclaim loudly, “what are you doing!” then notice that it quickly disappeared and give a reassuring, “oh you,” followed by a smily face. 

Well Snook was standing right there, so I made my way up to her desk. Now, I would consider Snook one of the teachers I am friends with. She has been my counselor since my freshman year and I have been to many pact activities with her. We laugh, we joke, we talk about life. This was all in my mind when I thought about spraying her. I thought she would think it was funny, so I shot the ink on her clothes. 

Well, I guess a bit of it had gotten in her eye. I didn’t know this though, and I just laughed, trying to show that it was only a joke and hoping she would follow suit and laugh too. There was no laughing though. Only anger and yelling. I guess she had spent two hours at the doctor earlier this morning because her eye had hurt her. She was concerned about what was in the ink and how it would affect her eye. Pretty much she just yelled at me for a while. 

Now, I am a pretty empathetic person. When someone is mad, it makes me really upset, and if I am the cause of this anger, it makes it even worse. I felt really bad and apologized for what seemed like forever, it was an apology marathon. She wasn’t having any of it though and told me to leave. I felt so bad. I never wanted to make her mad, just laugh. Five minutes later I went back in to apologize more and see if she was alright. She threatened to fail me and scolded me some more. Once again I just stood there, taking all of her anger, and why shouldn’t I, I had been the cause of it. I apologized again and again, by now I was close to tears. She made me leave again though, and it was left at that.

You have no idea how much I hate when people are angry with me. Its one of the worst feelings ever. All I ever want to do is make people happy but all it seems I’m capable of is making them mad. Why is my personality so un-personable? It really sucks. I live by the doctrine, treat others how you would want to be treated. That rule is crap though, because if someone had done it to me, yeah I would have been mad at first, but after I would have just laughed along. Stuff like that doesn’t make me mad, and why should it. Why should I let something small get me down? What it seems I should do is treat others way better than I would treat myself, and maybe my life won’t suck. But why are people so angry all the time? Don’t let the little things get ya down.

It's not that I have a  hard time understanding that different things offend people than things that would offend me, but I have a difficult time comprehending why they are so different for me. Why do the same things not anger me than others? What is it about me that makes me immune to anger? Yeah I guess its good because I don't get angry as much, but it sucks because I don't know how to judge when others will. 

But it gets worse.

She called my mother and told her that I can no longer participate in labs because she is afraid I am going to attack her.

I did not make that up.

She also said that she was surprised I would do something like that.

How does that surprise her? The fact that I would have disappearing ink is surprising? It seems exactly like something I would have in my possession. The action wasn’t done in malice, only in jest. My intention seems evident after my countless apologies and almost tears, so why is she so angry still.

I’m not sure what else to do. Guess that’s all I have.

Peace.