Black

So as I may have established before, I am black. I have always been black, I will continue to be black, and when I die, before I am turned into a tree, I will be black. Being black fifty, thirty, or even twenty years ago would have not been ideal, and I most likely would never have been able to write this post. But in the world we live in today, being black, or any minority proves beneficial. That's my hypothesis. 

Based on popular stereotypes as well as supporting research, the fact that I can spell my own name somehow means I’m more qualified academically than a white person who cured cancer. It’s a bit of an exaggeration, but regardless this is how it seems to work. While I will not complain about the perks I receive for my ethnicity, it makes me wonder. Am I being accepted into this simply because they have a quota to fill, or because I truly deserve it?

I have been given a lot of opportunities to do various conferences, but all these conferences have been for black people. That’s cool and all, I have never really been exposed much to the black culture seeing as how I was raised in Iowa by my white mother, and I am in all honesty, more what you would call “white” than “black” but even so, it’s annoying. While I don’t mind attending some of these, I can only hear about “how far my people have come” so many times.
All throughout my life I have never felt like excluded based on my race, however I can’t say it went unnoticed. I’m sure there were many people who drew conclusions about me based on my color, but humans are trained to pre-judge. I only experienced some form of animosity maybe twice in all of my life based on my race alone. But I noticed it. I noticed my hair didn’t style and my skin didn’t burn like the other kids. I knew I was different, it was impossible to ignore.

I am not sure what motivated me to apply myself the way I do in school, but I did, and I became what people call “smart”. As our schools began to separate us based on standardized testing and latter grades, I noticed I was put in the “smart” classes. I also noticed that I was the only black person. Now, I have never had very many black friends, but it wasn’t hard to see I was the only black one in the class. I really didn’t think anything of it until late middle school when I realized that not very many non-white people were viewed as smart.

Today it’s obvious that the fact that I’m black and a girl, and manage to somehow get what people would call “good” grades, my chances for acceptance into college are better. But I hate being judged, which is impossible to avoid with colleges, I understand. What bothers me the most is that my hard work, the time and effort I have invested into school will take second or possibly third place to my gender and my race. Unfairness seems unfair, even if it is benefiting me.
Peace.