Aca Dac

So I had academic decathlon yesterday. Yeah, I know, I’m a nerd, but what can you do about it. But while I was there, I couldn’t remember why I was there. I didn’t ant to be there. Its not something I enjoyed doing. So why was I doing it? There’s really no time later in life when ill need to know the difference between sitting man with legs spread and woman standing is there? Better question, do I care? Not really no. So as I was taking seven different tests, ones that I hadn’t studied for, I tried to answer that question. I didn’t do it for fun, who takes tests on Saturday mornings for fun? I didn’t do it because my best friends were doing. I didn’t do it for Snook, because I am pretty sure she hates me. I finally came to the conclusion that I had done it because it would look good on my college application. But then I began thinking about my motivations for everything else I do, and they all seem to have the same reason, for my college application. Ever since freshman year, I have focused my life on school. I get to school at 7, then have class till almost 4, and then I usually have something after that school related such as Mock Trial, or something dealing with class office stuff. Then I go home, and since I literally have 11 classes, I have about a minimum of 5 hours of homework every night, meaning I might be able to go to bed by 12:30 if I’m lucky, only to wake up and do it all over again. My weekends, and a few days during the week, are spent working in hell, or waking up early on Saturday for Mock Trial again, leaving me about no time, for myself. And why do I do this? I don’t like it, it doesn’t make me happy. I do it to get into college. There are only a few things I like out of my busy schedule, and yet, my days seem to be occupied with obligatory tasks. And now, I only work this hard so I can work even harder in college. Fun. This doesn’t seem to make any sense to me. Shouldn’t people enjoy what they do? I know I am not alone on this thought, but no how much I believe this, it won’t change anything in my life.

Peace.