Insanity

Do you think it’s possible to know if you’re crazy? I mean, to realize it before anybody else does. In all the stories I have read about someone going insane, they always seem to deny their crazy, and then give reasons for why they aren’t, but then in the end, they always end up being crazy and blah, blah blah. But what if you knew you were crazy, and tried to acknowledge it? What if you were the only one who could detect your crazy, and recognize it. Better yet, what if you were driven mad because you thought you were crazy, but since know one believed you, it made you even more crazy. Well, I think I might be going crazy, only when I tell people that, they dismiss me, because, of course I couldn’t be going crazy. They tell me that if I thought that, then that proves my sanity because a crazy person doesn’t know of they’re crazy. That’s only what we have been told, what we have been brainwashed with from the horrid tales of Poe, but I think there is a very good chance that a crazy person is just as capable of realizing their insanity as an insane person is of denying theirs.

But I honestly do think there is a good chance I am going crazy. Its not like a crazy that will harm me or others, more of one that will destroy my personality. Let me explain. It seems that lately, everything I have been doing, or have done has been done without my consent. Its nothing bad, but it feels like I have no control over any actions I now make, its all involuntary. Its almost like I have been separated from my body. My mind sees what is going on, but does not control it, my body just does it. I have become detached from myself.

I think this may be a result of being overworked. Maybe not being overworked, but being put in a routine that there seems to be no end to. I hate stability in the sense that it seems to lose all its excitement. Without anything knew, why even go on? So perhaps that is what has brought on my insanity. Perhaps I shall go bungee jumping.

Simply because I love him.

"I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs, or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me."

Hunter S. Thompson

peace.