How We Come to Be

How do you suppose we become who we are? Some may argue our parents. Yes this is true, they help us. They give us our two sets of chromosomes, one births, and ideally two raise. But not everyone gets to be them from this simple process. Not me. My mother and father made me a diploid, I exited from my mother’s vagina, and not ideally, my mother raised me. But I am not like my mother. If compared we have few things in common. Our personalities vary slightly, but our ideals and beliefs are oceans apart. My mother eats meat, I do not. I only bring this one up first because it was an issue of great debate between us, and by debate, I mean I told her about my new found vegetarianism, and she said that was stupid, and refused to buy me food for about two weeks, hoping this would change my mind. Unfortunately for her though, I could still eat everything else she bought, and I survived just fine. My mother never had much ambition, and has never pushed her dreams onto me. In fact, she has rarely pushed anything on me. This is both a blessing and a curse. My mother has never demanded high grades from me. She would be happy with C’s. She has never told me to read a book instead of watching TV. She has never discussed the beauty of a poem, or the simplicity of a sunset. We have never talked deeply about movies, or have engaged in a heated debate about politics. So here I am, a meatless honor roll student who loves movies, books, and politics, with all the ambition in the world. And I have gotten none of it from my mother. But if I did not become me from her, then from whom?

Others may argue society. Yes, that could be true. From the moment we are born, society thrusts its unwelcome waves of conformity upon us. We are taught to respect our elders, be nice to others, and that we are nothing without a planned future. But I am not a child of society. From society, my views and beliefs differ immensely. I believe in giving respect for merit, not entitlement, I am nice to people because its the right thing, not because its how I would want to be treated, and I believe that people make mistakes, and should not have to live in hell for the rest of their life because of it. So how have I become me.

I can think of only one way. My mother, when I was little, would read to me. One of my favorite books was I Love You This Much. She read to me all the time. I believe that is why I am a good reader, and why I have developed a fondness for them. When I entered school, I was not amazing at anything in particular. But I wanted to be. I saw the people who would do well, and everyone wants to do well. I wanted to do well. So I began doing well, and I fed off the adoration. I was told I was smart, and I liked that. So I became what society told me I was. And perhaps that’s why I still try hard today. I’d like to think that I have more noble reasons, but a person fairly reveals their true motives, even to themselves.

“We continue to shape our personality all our life. If we knew ourselves perfectly, we should die.”

Albert Camus quotes

here.

Peace.

Marriage

So I don’t mean for these posts to all be related, but they are. I apologize, I’m sure the topic of relationships is getting annoying by now. But I have a quota of 1200 words to fill, so I am not that apologetic. My question for today is why people find it necessary to get married. If you have a committed relationship with someone, why get married. Isn’t it all a bit unnecessary? It will only complicate things later on if something happens.

I asked people why they would get married. The answers varied.

One of my older friends talked about religion. He thinks that a man and a women should get married before having sex. He believes that sex is something shared only between two individuals who will be together forever. This is a cute idea, very romantic. The fact that he is willing to do this is very admirable. This was once a common belief, a long time ago, even if not practiced amongst the individuals who preached it. It is hard to find those who live so closely to scripture these days. I suppose that if religion is a big part of your life, then this is a fairly good reason to get married. But then one must infer that marriage is only for sex. He claimed that this wasn’t the case, but failed to explain why. 

What a happy and holy fashion it is that those who love one another should rest on the same pillow.  ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

Another reason I heard was that when ones relationship is so strong, they should naturally take it to the next level, that being marriage. But why?  Any good reason. Because its what people do? But why is it what people do. It doesn’t change anything, except for maybe your name. You still who you were before, but legally its different. There’s nothing that says that two people can spend their whole lives together, and love each other unconditionally only be getting married. 

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other.  Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.  ~Katherine Hepburn

So this makes me think that it is related to society. Now, you tell me duh. Bu think about it. Whose reason for getting married is because of its a society. No one I asked said that. They all had these cliche ideas about what marriage was supposed to be, what they had been taught from those fairy tales that have drugged us from long ago. And maybe that’s what they need. But if you want to acknowledge the truth, or go a bit further into your beliefs, think about what your ideals are based on. 

Peace.

Homosexual Advantages

So I have decided that I’m very jealous. it may sound weird, being jealous about this topic, but I am. The topic I am speaking of is gay relationships. It’s not really fair, being gay. 

First things first, I have no problem with gay people, relationships, or marriage. People are people, and everyone is entitled to basic human rights, one being love. 

  

“Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the "will of the people" goes out the window.”

-Bill Maher

“They are preserving the sanctity of marriage, so that two gay men who've been together for twenty-five years can't get married, but a guy can still get drunk in Vegas and marry a hooker at the Elvis chapel! The sanctity of marriage is saved!”

-Lea DeLaria

But its not fair. They are so interesting, and all I have is this stupid heterosexual lifestyle. I have nothing to make me novel. When I talk about my relationships, I am immediately written off as just some poor girl with boy issues, complaining once again. Its all very boring, even I wouldn't want to listen to me, and the people I talk to only listen with half an ear as well. 

But when a gay man talks about his boy troubles, it all of a sudden becomes so interesting, people clamor to get an ear in. They listen to him like he is a God. It’s novel and interesting, everything my stories are not. 

Same goes for writing and movies. I for one would love to read a story about a gay relationship. The boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, get married thing has been done to death, its so conventional. But two cowboys in a tent somewhere in the wild is new, refreshing. I can’t write stories like that. I can’t talk about struggles I have had with being gay, only those I have had from not, and that is boring to me. 

I’m not saying that a homosexual lifestyle is at all easy, and is all fun, but they do have that. perhaps thats why so many people disagree with the lifestyle. Its just jealousy. 

Peace.

Principles

ow before I begin, I would like to clarify something in order to protect my reputation. This is not a melodramatic woe is me kind of story, so please don’t take it like that. It is also not a “I hate boys” story either. Here me out. 

So I recently broke up with my boyfriend like two days ago. I won’t go into details, but what it come down to was we had varying principles, which was the word he used. Principles. Let’s analyze this word, shall we. Principles are defined as:

a fundamental truth or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system of belief or behavior or for a chain of reasoning

or

a rule or belief governing one's personal behavior

So, what I get from these two definitions is that principles serve as a way to live your life, based on personal decisions. All in all, principles are a good idea. They provide guidance, and help you make personal decisions. I think these are important for each individual. Each person should take time to decide what’s important to them, and then base their principles on that. 

The things about principles though, is that they are a very personal thing. They are rarely ever the same for each individual, and that is okay. Each person has had different experiences in their life, and experiences are what shape a person, and in turn, their principles. This is why our principles don’t match, but people are usually accepting of differing views, and can understand, and be okay with other people’s principles even if they are different than their own. 

When a person uses their principles to judge other people though, that’s when things get bad. The definition of principles is for one’s use, their own purpose. How is it fair to place them upon others.? When a person pushes their principles onto other people, they become close-minded. I hate close-minded people.

No one is the same, no one has gone through all the same things, jumped the same hurtles or won the same battles. Differing principles is not an excuse to not be friends with somebody. If your principles were that strong, as you claim them to be, then you could befriend others whose principles did not match.

But that is my story, that is my lesson. That is an important lesson to know. 

Peace.

Peace

So teenage girls have found a new fashion statement, or rather a retro one. I have bought into this as well, but let me just add, long before the masses. What I am talking about is the peace sign. It symbolized a lot, and to those who appreciate the meaning, not just the aesthetic know this. The peace sign has been around forever, and was quite popular around the time the idea of peace was. With America fighting overseas, many people need away to protest war, and any good organization has a symbol. So the peace sing could feed the need of those looking for a way to say peace without using that long word.

When the war ended, the notion of peace still remained, at least for a bit. But if morphed with the times. After the war, the big new movement was the whole environment thing. The peace sign fit into that as well, peace for the earth, you know. Then it shaped yet again into the animal rights thing. Pretty soon the peace sign was all over the place, and why not? Its one the most versatile words in the English dictionary. Which makes you think. How fucked up is this world that we can have a sign for peace for so many uses. Some will always be hippies at heart, but the sign eventually faded away, and was classified as old school, maybe even a little lame, I know I am guilty for saying that.

We have a war now, you may have noticed. We have a genocide. We have global warming. We have dying species. And here the peace sign is, here to give vision to a word, and ideal, a belief. But wait. How many of the people you see wearing that sign wear it for one of those reasons. there’s no ideology behind that sign anymore. Its all just for fashion. yeah, look at me, I’m aware of the evils and injustices of the world, cause see I have a peace sign. 

I hated those people for a while. But then i realized something. Because one person defines a word one way, does that same definition have to hold true for everyone. I’m not talking about specific definitions like photosynthesis, there’s not much room for movement in that one, but ones with objective views, such as peace, love, etc. These are words with personal views, and the definitions do not have to match. So no, I don’t hate them for wearing the peace sign, as long as they have at least on idea of one type of peace to back it up with. 

There never was a good war or a bad peace.

-Ben Franklin

Informality

A little while ago I asked you, Mr. Ayres, how old you were. I had innocent enough motives, simply wondering how old you were because you were getting your PhD and I knew someone getting there’s, so I wanted to compare the ages. However, when you were asked, you wouldn’t tell me. I wasn’t offended by this, not everyone likes to share their age. But then I began thinking about the reason you wouldn't want to share your age. Normally the people who don’t are older and uncomfortable with the fact that they are getting so. You don’t look old though, and unless your one of those creepy Palm Springs wives who enjoy immense amount of plastic surgery, I doubt you are old. So why not share your age?
Seeing as how the first option didn’t fit, I moved onto the second which is the fact that you’re my teacher, and some teachers don’t like to share their age either. But those are usually the ones who were taught to respect their elders, and were made to be polite, and now, like some sort of bitter senior whose head was shoved in the toilet freshman year, demand the same respect simply because they can. But you don’t strike me as one of those types either.
So either I’m wrong and you are a plastic surgery addicting trophy wife, or a spiteful, sour man, or maybe even a combination of the two, or there is another reason. When I asked you why you wouldn’t tell me how old you were, you responded with a joke. Usually when people respond with a joke its because they feel insecure, and this is their way of hiding it. You may be an insecure person, I can see that more than the other two options, but I don’t think is the reason for the joke because you joke about everything I have talked to you about.
So why?
I asked some people who I know that are older than me, a few teachers, a few fellow employees( I refrain from using the term colleagues because it hardly seems suitable for the Culvers profession), a few old people I wanted to offend, you know, just to see what they would say. Everyone I asked answered, unabashed by the response they gave.
Isn’t it amazing the transition of a culture. What would have been deemed and inappropriate question 30 years ago is completely commonplace today. And why is that? Is it because kids today are ungrateful little brats? Yes. That’s what I would attribute it to. Are parents were druggies, at least some of them, not mine unfortunately, and they grew up wanting a more relaxed world, and when they didn’t make us respect them, we didn’t.
But why?
As I give thought to the matter, I find four causes for the apparent misery of old age: first, it withdraws us from active accomplishments; second, it renders the body less powerful; third, it deprives us of almost all forms of enjoyment; fourth, it stands not far from death.
-Cicero

The Death of A Language

I have noticed something recently, something that has made me not only mad, but deeply saddened as well. I listen very well. You would be surprised at the stuff you can find out simply by closing your mouth and opening your ears. Some may call what I do eavesdropping, however, I think that is such negative term. I don’t tell what I hear, I simply want to know. And if your speaking loud enough for me to hear, and in public for that matter, whose fault is it really?
But the source of my distress is not what people are saying, but the way in which they’re saying it. I’m not one of those people who obsess over the usage of obscenities. Fuck. That was simply proving my point. In fact, I think there is nothing wrong with it unless thats all your speech consists of. What I am concerned about is the unoriginality of the words we are now saying. Its as if there are ready made sentences that you can purchase off the shelves of a supermarket. It’s boring, not to mention annoying.
There is a beauty in words, I have always believed that. There are so many words, and those people who can pick and chose carefully the words they use, to make it sound not only efficient, but poetic as well, I have always though admirable. Its a skill few possess. This is perhaps why I find books so appealing. Because a good one can utilize the beauty of words, and a great one can do it without you even noticing, until you take a line or two from the text. But I don’t expect everybody to talk how Vonnegut or Hornby write. I imagine that would get annoying. But now, all I hear is quotes from Step Brothers and Superbad. They’re funny, don’t get me wrong. I enjoy to laugh as much as the next person, maybe even more. But its not the speech I enjoy about the movie. Its so common. And now, at least everyone my age, seems to be adopting their speech as their own. Nothing they say is new, I have heard it all before. Its a death of a language, of a skill no longer appreciated.
See what our society is left with:

The loss of Sincerity

You know when your friend is trying on a shirt, or a pair of jeans, and she asks you if they look good on her figure. The extra flub around her mid section is freely flowing over the top, and since they are skinny jeans squishing her nasty into less space then they should, most definitely defying the laws of physics, you politely reply, “oh yeah, those are looking great.”
You see an acquaintance you have not spoken to in a while. Your not really good friends, but you met at this thing, and since he said hello, you decide to converse with him a bit. You say your salutations, and then get into the big stuff, asking about his family and how they are doing. He replies with the generic, “oh, they’re great.” You know his brother is traveling right now, and so you inquirer about him. You don’t really care, and probably don’t even listen long enough to hear the answer, but politely say how great that is, and you’re on your way.
These commonalities, these gestures of niceness that we all incorporate into our day are becoming ridiculous. I for one care not how you look in a pair of jeans, or whether your brother has succumbed to the Ebola virus. I don’t mean to sound rude, but think about it, do you.

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative.”

Oscar Wilde quotes


I doubt any of you are interested in what people say, at least ones that you aren’t close to. You listen because it is the polite “thing” to do, but your not really listening. Listening requires you to actually hear, then process what the person says, acting accordingly, however how many of you can honestly say that when someone is discussing their recent vacation, or assignment in a class you actually listen. I know I don’t, I don’t care. It doesn’t concern me, and at the fear of sounding conceded, if it doesn’t impact me, why should I care.
I have done away with these unimportant comments. I feel that of anyone wants to say anything, it should be because they want to, because they feel that it needs to be said. I also think that you shouldn’t have to feel obligated to ask questions in order to maintain a conversation. If you don’t care what someone is going to college for, don’t ask. It’s a waste of not only my time but yours too.
It seems our society has taken the practice of insincere conversation to the next level. Sadly, almost every conversation I have a day is fused with “obligatory” questions, ones I know the speaker really doesn’t want to ask, but feels it’s what’s needed to be polite. This makes almost every conversation crap. They all seem to be lacking the beauty of good speech, a lost of a good art. The sincerity has been taken right out of conversation.

Sppech was first created by man to communicate. They didn’t ask about trivial things, but only spoke when they needed to, conversation efficiency I suppose. I’m not suggesting reverting back to only necessary conversation That is why I beg you, please, refrain from meaningless conversation which I know you neither want to say, or hear the answer back.
Bring the sincerity back.

New Years Resolution

Happy 2009 everyone. It’s the time of new beginnings, fresh starts, and a hopeful future. I for one hate this time of the year. I don’t mean to sound like a negative Nancy, but this time of the year is such a joke. It’s so overdone. People all of a sudden feel the need to make trite resolutions which last for all of about the 2 minutes after the ball has dropped. How many times have you heard your friends or family members say that they plan to get into shape only to see their newly bought treadmill collecting dust by May.

He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool. F.M. Knowles
I for one feel that anytime is a good time to make a resolution. The fact that people need to do it at the same exact time only feeds into the ideal of conformity created by all those unable to think for themselves.
I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me. Anaïs Nin
Seeing as I feel the way I do, I was at first reluctant to resolve, and even resolved to not resolve, but then, that doesn’t really make sense, like saying the only rule is that there are no rules and things like that. I have made my resolution, but it is something that has always been present in my life, at least in the past few months. Because of this, I thought I would add my own spin on a time honored classic, as my way of fighting the similitude of society and make it my own.
A new year’s resolution was created in order to try and help people have a more optimistic view on life, on their new year. It is meant to be a goal, an aspiration. These are things that everybody should have, and I do embrace the fact that because it is now a standard, people may become better for it. My only problem with this is that it is too short termed. If you are making a resolution, it should be one that you would like to maintain for the rest of your life, not just 365 days of it.

The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul. G. K. Chesterton
It is because of this that I have changed it into a new life resolution. I understand the cheesiness of it, but I’d rather be cheesy than conventional any day. This brings me to my new life resolution, which is: I resolve to laugh more, to love more, to live more, and not be so afraid to do so. I think that this is a fairly decent resolution. It is one, that in not only coming year, but the rest of my life, I will pursue.

New blog

So before break I was asked to write a post about what my blog was about. I did that. The trouble was that I had nothing to say about it. At least nothing good. It was pretty much just 400 words of me rambling on about how my writing sucked and how my blog was pointless. This was true, and will probably remain true regardless of what renovations I make.
When first given the blogging assignment, I wanted to talk about something that meant something to me, and just in general. I know, that sounds weird, writing about stuff that you like. I wanted to write about mainly stuff I thought about during the day, real stuff, deeper than casual talk. I was reluctant to dedicate my blog to chats like this though because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to think of stuff to talk about all the time, and I was fairly sure I wouldn’t be able to come up with 400 words about the topics I could come up with.
I thought about this for a while, and I realized that I have wished for the time to write stuff that really matters to me, but I always seemed busy with school work. And when I did write, I wanted to write a lot, but the lack of time prevented me from doing so. Then I thought to myself, “Self, why not kill two birds with one stone and write about this stuff for your blog.” It made sense to me. I seemed to come up with one topic a day. at least, so coming up with 3 a week wouldn’t be so difficult. And anything was better than the crap I was spilling out writing about movies and books. It is then that I decided to take the risk, and write about real stuff.
Even writing this now it seems so much easier than trying to describe my blog before. I already have 328 words, and that just poured out. Well now it’s 338. But anyway, this blog, my new one will be about idea that come into my mind during the day. Things that I’m sure we have all thought about. Cliches, sayings, morals, just stuff like that. While I may not be able to be able to match the writing of Montaigne, it cant be that bad right? Well, here goes...