Down with Schmulver's

Note: Some names have been changed in order to protect the privacy and integrity of the places featured in this post/ my job.

So after four years of working at Schmulver’s, I have finally been promoted. I’m unsure of how to take this news. It’s true I did finally build up the courage to ask for this promotion, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m happy about it. I mean yeah, I did get a raise and I now get free food, which isn’t that big of a deal because I can’t remember the last time I actually paid for my food there, and let me tell you, I have eaten my share of their merchandise. I suppose now I’ll get to boss people around and putting manager on a college application will look nice. But let’s look at the cons here shall we. I’ll now be responsible for the shit that goes wrong in the store, meaning I’ll start getting blamed for mess ups that aren’t even my fault.I’ll have to work till almost eleven on school nights, and with my class schedule I’ll get like no sleep. But hey, I ain’t no punk bitch, so I figure I’ll be fine.

But as I stood in the employee bathroom, buttoning up my oversized blue manager shirt, I began wondering if this was selling out. The moment I agreed to the position of manager, I basically sold my soul to the devil. I can no longer talk back to my GM, I am her slave and must listen to her because that is what managers must do. Put quite simply, I must change myself to fulfill the qualities expected from me from my superior. There is no doubt that I am a sellout.

But as a tightened my brand new tie, symbolizing my new state of oppression, I decided to rebel. I decided to build an army. I decided to fuck over Schmulver’s.

And here’s how:

While I will continue to do as I am told, following the directions of my superiors, when outside of their watch, I will instruct others to break every rule possible. Someone orders a single burger, I’ll tell them to make it a double, they want a six piece shrimp, make it a ten, they want one scoop of custard, give them two, a short shake will be turned into a medium. I know all this seems very childish and immature, mostly because it is. And you probably doubt that this insubordination will have any affect on the Schmulver’s establishment. Wether my childish plan works or not is of no concern to me. The important thing is the idea. The act of rebelling against Schmulver’s. That’s all I want really, is to start a minor form of a revolution. The idea will be passed on, and regardless of effort, you cannot kill an idea.

Yes, I realize how stupid this sounds. But I’m just a girl who hates her job and wants some control, no matter how small, after relinquishing all the rest. Down with Schmulver’s.

peace